moments of transition and revelation

i've neglected you.

but i'm coming back... soon.
...
seriously.

What American accent do you have? (Best version so far) Neutral You're not Northern, Southern, or Western, you're just plain -American-. Your national identity is more important than your local identity, because you don't really have a local identity. You might be from the region in that map, which is defined by this kind of accent, but you could easily not be. Or maybe you just moved around a lot growing up.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

teehee.

okay back to work.

home.

except that it doesn't.

save my life from slow motion.

Hello dear readers. It's been a while. And there's much to talk about.

I'll start with some chastising. I've been a naughty boy, and I've hardly put a thing down in months -- at least anything worthwhile. That said, I'm going to also excuse myself by saying that it's been quite the roller coaster ride in the last weeks... months... year.

My actual journey home was a bitch, although my delays only amounted to a cumulative 6 hours or so, so I should probably consider myself lucky. That said, I was quite the weary and worn boy when I finally arrived in Nashville around 11.45 PM. Ever since then, I've been trying to fit my feet into shoes that are a year old and a lifetime away.

I spent the first few days with Mom and Dad. It was nice to just hang out with my parents for a few days, after having not seen them in so long. Being away that long really made me appreciate them more ... than I'd really imagined I could. My brother even came up that weekend to see me, and we connected for the first time in years.

About a week after my arrival home, Milie and BLake and I drove down to Atlanta and Augusta, GA, to visit some of my family and Milie's sister, Dr. Julie. We had a really great time, and, of course, got shitfaced... more than once.

Then comes my first night back at the club. I was really excited, and I thought I'd be seeing a lot of old friends. Unfortunately, things didn't really go as planned, and I didn't end up seeing many familiar faces at all. It wasn't the most fun I've ever had at the club, but I'm thankful for those who were there for me -- it's much appreciated.

I'm now back in Knoxville. I've a lovely apartment, and I've just had a lovely visit from my first houseguests -- Jared and Jeremy. School is beginning, and I've already made headway figuring out how to get my ass out of here in May. There's a lot riding on that, and I think I'm really ready to dive in again. Let's all hope!

...

And now, just a bit I'd like to say about Marc. It's funny to read just a few posts back, when I was going through the issues with André. Towards the beginning of July, I went out to the celebrations for CSD in Köln, and I met Marc. I was out with Rebekah, Brandon, and Morgan, and we were having quite the time acting fools. It was late(early), and we were getting ready to go, when Marc approached and struck up conversation.
I'll spare the entire story (and post on it at another time...) ... Suffice to say, I changed plans and spent my last 5 real days in Germany in Munich with Marc. I'm not prepared to say much about the experience, except that I had a truly amazing time with him, and that it made quite the impression.

...and we're still talking.

I miss Germany.
I'm terribly happy to be back amongst friends.
But many who'd walked a path with me before are now forging new paths,
and I find that my path is somehow more unclear.

Don't forget to breathe. Just breathe.

verabschieden: {vt} - to say goodbye.

heute fängt's richtig an. und ich kann es kaum glauben. Die Taxifahrt zum Hotel ist wie letzte Woche... Ein Jahr in einem Augenblick...

und hier bin ich, in Kürze wieder heimatlos.

a year in the blink of an eye. fast fertig.

in Kürze komme ich wieder in den USA an -- genauso gesagt, ein Monat. ein halbes Teil von mir ist schon bereits, die andere noch in Frage.

is fucking gorgeous.

it is very much the little known jewel of the Adriatic.
(at least to Americans)

... but it is being discovered... im glad i made it down now, heh.

pictures to be posted on Picasaweb when i get back.

it fucking RAINS. A LOT.

i woke up wondering if the ceiling might cave in from all of the rain.

despite all of this, thejeremy1 and i are going to the Vatican today. I'm giddy from the prospect of seeing the men in silly hats and funny pajamas.

ding.

and i tooks a picture of him!




guckmal guckmal!

drinking within 24 hours of arrival. that's ma boy :)


also,
thejeremy1 just said the following:
"i can live out of a deathbag if i want to!!!

that's it.

we're off to Berlin in... less than 6 hours.
where sleep is concerned, i'm so fucked. DING!

it's been a rainy, chilly day.

WHERE'D MY SUMMER GO!?!?!
and now the sun comes out with only about an hour of daylight left. boo.

anyway, i've got to clean up just a little bit more in anticipation of thejeremy1's arrival. hooray for vacuuming!

also, happy birthday wishes to maillewelder!

it wasn't terribly successful or anything, but at least i did get a FEW things done. My room is once again on track to becoming clean... although i seem to have a lot of trouble motivating to vacuum.

My Ringvorlesung was ... well excruciatingly boring
at least the latter half was boring... The Germans REALLY love to put graphs onto Power Point and stand there and talk about what I can already read. beh!
at least i've gotten down that "Stickstoff" means Nitrogen. (i think)

yes.
yes it does.
i just checked good ol' Beolingus to make sure.
good ol' Beolingus never lets me down!

ALSO, now premiering in this blog-- TWO, yes TWO new Tags! "music" and "daily happenings" ... i felt they were much needed.

anyway. I have to be up at 7 tomorrow morning for my Geography in the first half of the 20th Century class @ 8. ... the same that I missed last week. D'oh!

BUT MUCH MORE IMPORTANTLY, THE FOLLOWING:

i got the new Rufus Wainwright CD today.
it's simply delicious.

buy it.
listen.
enjoy.

Good ol' Rufus has done it again, dear readers.

That's all for now.

"For if every true love affair can feel like a journey to a foreign country, where you can't quite speak the language, and you don't know where you're going, and you're pulled ever deeper into the inviting darkness, every trip to a foreign country can be a love affair, where you're left puzzling over who you are and whom you've fallen in love with."


-Pico Iyer

thoughts:

i love Germany -- it is a beautiful country.
i love Europe -- it is a beautiful area.
i miss my friends in the states.
-----i have good friends here, but it's not the same, of course.
----------i will miss my friends i've made here when i return.
---------------i will miss Andre.
i already miss Andre -- i haven't seen him in a month-ish.
-----i'm extraordinarily frustrated with our situation at the moment -- he's busy, i feel as if i'm constantly waiting on him to not be busy.
i don't want to wait anymore; i think we all do far too much of that.
i don't want to hurt for someone anymore.
i don't want to close myself to possibilities.
i love Germany, but i think i will be ready when the time comes.
when the time comes, i will be a wreck.
when i return, i'm coming with new knowledge and new habits.
i'm going green. so green as possible.
i want to make changes, if only for me.
-----i may have to give up some of my favorite times. (bathtime)
i'm going to do my best.
i'm going to do my best to cherish the time that i have and to USE it.
i'm going to enjoy being busy again.

i wonder about "the one"
i wonder where one could pick up one of those.

i want to enjoy things as they happen just as much as in hindsight.
i want to explore.
i will explore.
i'll be making my own path.

stuff.

Em -- I suppose my last update was right before my mother and Pam showed up for their 2 week race around Europe. The first couple of days they spent in Bonn and in the region. We, of course, went to Köln, and we also took a day trip out to Aachen. They then traveled on to München (with a short day trip to Salzburg). I then met them again in Berlin, where we spent another couple days seeing the sights. The next week, I met the two and London. Suffice to say, I had a busy couple of weeks towards the beginning of April. =)

THen I had to come back to the reality that school had started again. I'm still getting readjusted to goign to classes every day, but finally I won't be having any pesky trips to bother me... =/ at least for a while. =)

Things with the boy have been great... with the one exception of me having hardly seen him in the past two weeks. He's very busy, currently, with work, and our schedules seem to just keep clashing.

I miss him terribly.

I'm also in the process of getting things set up for my return to the States. This, dear readers, is a most depressing job for me. Please just keep in mind, that once I do get back (in about 3 months now), that I will need tons of support. =) I think, though, that Ashley and I have found an apartment in Knoxville -- Highland Terrace seems to have been totally booked up. This may, however turn out to be a better deal -- it's across the river, but it's a much nicer apartment, methinks... and for a much more reasonable price.

Anyway, it's WAY past my bedtime. Just wanted to do a quickie update... More in depth things to follow. I WILL make a triumphant return to LJ... just you wait and see!

well... not really...

um, i'm alive.

i'm WELL (again, thankfully)...

em... and i'm bout to hop in bed so that i can get up early to pick up Mom and Pam at the airport in the morning.


a REAL update should follow somewhat soon (gimme a week or so...) I PWOMISE!

just a quick update to let everyone know that i'm, indeed, still alive.

Istanbul was absolutely wonderful -- wildly fascinating and fun...

now in just a few hours, i'm taking off for Paris and Caen... I'll be there until Saturday...

hope all of you are well, dear readers.

until later (i.e., when i stop traveling so much and hosting guests)

ding.

Well... let's begin with the boy. I'm kinda into him. He's very nice, very cute, and I enjoy spending time with him. However, he's really worrying me, in that he seems to be falling for me VERY VERY fast, and I'm not particularly sure that I can keep up to such a pace. Those of you who know me know that I move at a snails pace with regards to my emotions in relationships. We are contiuning to see one another, although I'm making sure to put a day between every visit as best I can -- in order to keep things in perspective.

Then again, putting time in between visits won't be a problem for long... as I am now prepared to announce my *OFFICIAL* schedule over the March break. It took forever to really get things nailed down on the second trip that I'm taking, and unfortunately, it's not going to be in Eastern Europe as I'd hoped before... However, I am still VERY VERY excited about the month of March, and I'll definitely be filling up the camera again... SO, without further delay:

March 1st - 8th: Istanbul, Turkey
(9th - 11th in Bonn)
March 12th - 14th: Paris, France
March 14th - 16th: Caen, France
March 16th - 17th: Paris, France
(18th - 19th in Bonn)
March 20th - 27th: VISIT FROM MILIE!
(we'll probably take a day trip over that weekend)
April 1st: VISIT FROM MOM & PAM!!

so there you are. me = muy excited!

Well... Karneval was a certain success. After having partied at the club Saturday night, I was totally beat and got a most peaceful night's rest heading into Sunday afternoon. Not much went on Sunday -- just hung out most of the day.

Rosenmontag was a lot of fun. I got dressed up in my getup for the last time and headed to Köln for the big parade. It was absolutely packed, and we all had a good time with all the "Jecks." After the parade, Genevieve, Tommy, Alex, Mel, and I went out for drinks in Köln Süd. After spending a couple hours in a "dark and seedy" type of bar, we got the great idea to go to a gay bar. We headed over to Rudolfplatz only to find that all of the gay bars were BEYOND full. There wasn't even enough room to shove one's way to the bar. So we settled in at another small bar on the outskirts of the gay area.

I only stayed with them for a little while, as I'd gotten a text from 'the boy' to go meet him at the hauptbahnhof. I ran a little late, but we met up, and since he had slept a long time that day, we decided to go out. In the end, we (boy and I) ended up back in Rudolfplatz at Clip Cologne. We had drinks and danced for quite a while, but as I was deathly tired, we packed it in around 1 or 2ish... Grabbed a little midnight snack at Burger King on the way back to the HBF, and then we came back to Bonn.

Today, I haven't done all too much. Emmy, Genevieve, Will and I watched a movie and had pizzas up in Emmy's room. We watched "From Hell" -- which details the story of Jack the Ripper. It was decent.

It would seem that tomorrow afternoon or evening I'll be heading to Düren to visit the boy. We'll see how that goes... There's an interest there, and it's mutual. For that, I am pleased. I suppose updates will follow on Friday or thereabouts.

By the way, pictures are up on my PicasaWeb account. Check 'em out!

well... as i said, i should be sleeping, but i feel like i've gotten a lot done tonight... perhaps i have little to show for it... but with only 2 hours more to sleep... i'm still going at it... anyway

question: should i goto Amsterdam on Tuesday until Thursday-ish? there's still spots on the train last i checked, and it's relatively cheap... hrms... we'll see.

(i'll probably end up going, but advice is welcome)

if i go, i'll post about it... perhaps it will be so fun as last time? or better? OH? oh?

p.p.s. i have new little user pics. i'm quite proud of them, though one is totally stolened... =D

i'm making plans for trips over the break.
i'm shopping for the rest of my costume for Karneval.

i suppose i'll post something of substance after Karneval... when i actually have something of substance to report.


so... in the spirit of Karneval, everyone sing along:

Viva Colonia

Met ner Pappnas gebore dr Dom en dr Täsch,
han mir uns jeschwore: Mer jon unsre Wääch
Alles wat mer krieje künne, nemme mer och met,
weil et jede Augenbleck nur einmol jitt.....

Mer jon zom FC Kölle un mer jon zom KEC
Mer drinke jän e Kölsch un mer fahre KVB
Henkelmännche - Millowitsch, bei uns es immer jet loss
Mer fiere jän, ejal of klein of jroß - wat et och koss'!

Da simmer dabei ! Dat is prima! VIVA COLONIA!
Wir lieben das Leben, die Liebe und die Lust
Wir glauben an den lieben Gott und hab´n noch immer Durst.

Mer han dä Kölsche Klüngel un Arsch huh - su heiß´ et he!
Alaaf op Ruusemondaach un Aloah CSD
Mer sin multikulinarisch - mer sin multikulturell
Mer sin in jeder Hinsicht aktuell - auch sexuell!

Da simmer dabei ! Dat is prima! VIVA COLONIA!
Wir lieben das Leben, die Liebe und die Lust
Wir glauben an den lieben Gott und hab´n noch immer Durst.

Mer lääve hück - nit murje, zo schnell verjeiht die Zigg
L.M.A.A. ihr Sorje - mer lääve dä Augenbleck
...un dä es jenau jetz´ !

Da simmer dabei ! Dat is prima! VIVA COLONIA!
Wir lieben das Leben, die Liebe und die Lust
Wir glauben an den lieben Gott und hab´n noch immer Durst.

Da simmer dabei ! Dat is prima! VIVA COLONIA!
Wir lieben das Leben, die Liebe und die Lust
Wir glauben an den lieben Gott und hab´n noch immer Durst.